How To Avoid Two Bad Afflictions In Job Search

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How To Avoid Two Bad Afflictions In Job Search

There are two painful afflictions that can be triggered by a job search transition.  And both have deep-seated roots in life.  Not everyone catches these, but those who do can struggle mightily until solved.  And it does not only affect the job seeker.  Those living with and networking with the afflicted parties can suffer.  At the same time.

This was all initiated by a simple question this past week.  At a restaurant the other morning where I stopped for a quick breakfast before work.  As I was finishing my toast, an older couple sat down in the booth next to me.  The man was helping his wife into the booth and settling down himself.  After ordering coffee for them both, he asked a simple question.

“Do you know what you want, dear?”

Sounds simple yet I could tell from his tone that it was not a simple question.  Nor was it an uncommon one for him to ask.  And while there was love in his voice there also just enough tightness in his delivery that I think he knew what would come next.  

Silence.

I looked up to see him finish the question and pause just slightly.  Perhaps hoping that today she would smile and say “Boy, Eggs Benedict would be swell!”

She didn’t. He looked down and prepared to wait. And I imagine this affliction causes stress for them both.

Of course this affliction hits a lot of people. We have three kids and I can’t get a simple drink order out of them some days. Can you relate?

But here’s the bigger point.  And the direct application.  If you are actively looking for a job and especially if you are currently without one, hear this:

You better know what you want.

So the first affliction is INDECISION.  In this case, you may “kind of already know” what you want but you can’t pick one or two on which to focus.  You’ve heard me talk before about how important it is to build strong and specific job search objectives.  Indecision says to me that either you haven’t put in the work to prepare for networking and interviews or you honestly don’t know.  And we’ll get to “don’t know” in a bit.

Indecision shortens networking discussions.  And makes you less memorable.  So after a networking event when I’ve met 15-20 people, the odds are you won’t be someone that I will be keeping on my Watchlyst™. 

Not that I didn’t like you, but you haven’t provided me the tools to help you.

The second affliction is related but has much deeper roots in life.  And job search brings it out in people in a very striking way.

Here’s the example. After 20 years of working as a project manager at XYZ company, Mike gets laid off.  Like a tornado through your life, a lay-off can be painful.  And after working to get through that experience, he is faced with a series of big questions.  The first being “What will you do now?”.

And if you’ve worked steadily for 20 years, no one has ever needed to ask you a few other questions:

What do you WANT to do next?  What makes you HAPPY?

Some have never thought of this before.  Nor do they have anything close to an answer.  So we’ll call this second affliction the “career identity crisis”.  Who am I?  What do I really like to do?  What would I do with my life if money was not my first driver.

For many of you the answer will be simple.  You like what you do and clearly want to keep doing it.  Great!

For others you are either forced into this questioning by a friend or someone at a networking event.  Or you have always longed for something else.  Something better.  Perhaps something that gives value back to the world while you earn a living.

That is one of the blessings of job search.  Even if you only have one break in your entire career, it is your opportunity to do a little deep thinking about what you really want to do during the 40-50 hour work week.

I’m not saying you have months to do this. But it should be one of the first things you do as part of building your job search strategy.  Along with a networking plan, great materials, and a social media plan, you need to know what you want.  And you need to be able to clearly and energetically communicate it to your network.

While you can get out and network (get your feet wet), the longer you are out there without objectives, the more you are diluting your brand.  First impressions matter.  Of course they do.

So I guess the first part is a self diagnosis.  You can also ask friends and family that you trust.  What is my affliction?  Am I just struggling to pick from a well-defined set of objectives or is there something bigger going on inside?  A longing for something different.

If you have INDECISION, I recommend you pick one direction and work it for a few weeks.  Pay attention to how it feels when you describe these objectives to people.  Does it sound like you?  Are you genuinely excited to be sharing them with people?  And how are they reacting to you?  If they feel good and you are getting traction, stick with it.  It doesn’t mean you can’t be open to jobs in adjacent functions or industries, it just means you need to communicate a firm and confident plan.

If you have CAREER IDENTITY CRISIS, it may not be a crisis at all.  You may actually have CAREER IDENTITY OPPORTUNITY.  This is where you have the longing.  And instead of viewing it as a painful struggle, you see it as an opportunity to find out what really makes you jump out of bed with a smile.  Both will be frustrating at times but viewing at as an opportunity might just change the way you approach the solution.  You have the time to dig in.  And if you have the financial resources, you can consider a career coach who really is good at helping people find their passions.  If money is especially tight, here is a book I’d recommend to get you thinking down the right path: 

How To Find The Work You Love by Laurence Boldt.

 

Of course you need to set some deadlines for yourself.  If you allow this process to linger, it can put you into a never ending cycle of wonderment.  But if your job search continues 3-6 months or longer (as many are today), use your time wisely.  Pick a direction that feels good while you continue to think through your larger question.

Also know this.  You are not alone.  In the 3-4 networking events I go to each month, I meet a lot of people facing either one or both of these afflictions.  And often they don’t have to tell me.  I see it and feel it as they describe their situation.

The key is to get started.  And If you need some starter ideas, send me a note.  Or comment below so I can respond so that everyone can see our discussion. OK?

Another option is to join the Spin Strategy Linkedin Group.  A great group of people are out there in cities across the U.S. and the world wanting to help.  All you have to do is join and start asking for help.  Really.  And when you request to join, tell ’em Tim sent you. 

That’s me.